Amazing Grace

c and i were married 12.18.99 and the desire to have a baby came Oct of 04 - but then as years progressed without one, barrenness definitely writes it's way into your story in ways you can't see coming

believing in God and being barren is complicated...  barrenness gets in your head and becomes a voice that can get pretty loud... trying to get you to reason why this path and the reasons almost always have to do w/ your mistakes, or your lack - mine were my lack of vision for my life... lack of health.. and choices made in my marriage.  Barrenness was interwoven throughout all of these at times...

but as i sit writing, now expecting this gift of life!  my barrenness is g.o.n.e. and what a gift that alone really is... the world of pregnancy is light in a way i never expected because of this

if there is one thing i'm very aware of along my journey in this world, it is his abundant grace that has shown it's face on many days of my life... i've felt his presence in ways i long to give away to others i see struggling in similar ways - like i'm a girl with magic powers... and i do have a vision now, it is his still small voice that comes to me and silences the loud wrong ones... it gives me eyes to see beyond it

sweet.ness.  this is for me the gift of not letting what looks broken have the power to also steal hope for the blessings coming... if you have a minute, listen to the above song... one of my favorites melodies of pure truth

CLICK HERE for a list of past post from the #write31 day series.