More than a Foot Thick

C and I just don't have the church thing figured out here in our new city.
Of our 13 years of marriage, we've attended church the least in the last 10 months than any other 10 mo period.  I don't know why and to be honest, it hasn't bothered me one bit.  And that is new for me.  In any other season, guilt would have lived on my shoulder.

We started a small group almost immediately too and our group is super laid back.  C and I have cancelled going to that almost as many times as the group itself has just cancelled for a variety of reasons.  But last nite we started a new book and C was the one who drug me there.  After sitting for the majority of my daylite hrs, driving 20 min to sit for another 2.5 is not even close to where my head is.  I snuck in a quick jaunt on the treadmill and sauna after work and it helped immensely.

And, besides being w/ some of the best people, I had a lovelee take away in my heart.  I don't know if it was from the book we are doing, (just ordered ours yesterday, "Doctrines that Divide," - quite possibly another reason i wasn't pumped for group, lol!) - or if it arose from our convo, but I"ll try and recap.

The chat was on whether we put more faith in our belief, and how strongly we believe xyz... or if our faith is in Jesus of Nazareth... his work on the cross, he as God himself, he as the one who saves.    The picture was of icy waters.  An area that is a foot thick with ice or an area barely an inch thick... the barely an inch represents having strong beliefs in xyz, no matter how rooted the belief... acting on those will leave you sunk... b/c the STRENGTH of your belief, no matter how pure, won't have the power to hold you.  

Gifted with an already established, secure, flourishing on into infinity Kingdom and I toss and toil to find some personal path to root myself in... this is thin ice in my life.

An action brought from the core of trusting, surrendering to the one who already made a way... no work needed!  no matter how fearful the step, no matter that only one tiny mustard size seed of faith comes with you... who cares!  The hope I crave is Him!  The way's been made and the ice on these waters is ridiculously thick... just ridiculous.